He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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