Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
