Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Small penises have feelings too.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
how does that bad decision feel?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize