it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
