I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
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my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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