your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
