The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
