I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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