why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
