Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
