I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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