so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
