This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
