i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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