I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
whose parrot is this?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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