you guys were way drunker than both of me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
