Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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