That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
