morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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