I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
