well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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