3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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