The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Acid is not a monday night drug
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
