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Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
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