i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
