That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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