i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
