they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize