Just fell off a train. Bad.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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