Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
