At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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