He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
