Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
