So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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