it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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