I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
