Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
