At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
