The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
