3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
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he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
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Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i think my cat just said my name.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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