so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
