Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
it was like his penis was on wheels.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
