you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
