Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Randomize
