I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
