12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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