Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on

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  (607): I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on http://tfl.nu/pu4k
  Replies (2) Good night (2286) Bad night (947)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote

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  (914): I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote http://tfl.nu/0x07
  Replies (37) Good night (3770) Bad night (827)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest

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  (908): he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest http://tfl.nu/7o2d
  Replies (40) Good night (1071) Bad night (3405)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.

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  (610): doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better. http://tfl.nu/6sgi
  Replies (70) Good night (4051) Bad night (742)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.

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  (806): Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever. http://tfl.nu/07ur
  Replies (9) Good night (4422) Bad night (1065)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.

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  (573): I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot. http://tfl.nu/yflo
  Replies (5) Good night (3988) Bad night (1118)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?

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  (337): How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen? http://tfl.nu/ms4s
  Replies (6) Good night (2904) Bad night (926)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.

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  (618): Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you. (270): No, that's okay. Don't worry about it. (618): Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway. http://tfl.nu/gcov
  Replies (45) Good night (3724) Bad night (1407)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married

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  (941): Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married http://tfl.nu/yr2i
  Replies (6) Good night (879) Bad night (1754)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.

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  (678): i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me. http://tfl.nu/f868
  Replies (5) Good night (1235) Bad night (710)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.

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  (508): I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate. http://tfl.nu/ga8b
  Replies (8) Good night (678) Bad night (1064)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children

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  (937): somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children http://tfl.nu/47si
  Replies (4) Good night (622) Bad night (731)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns

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  (905): If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns http://tfl.nu/dd5q
  Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (389)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...

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  (801): I just used a thesaurus to write a sext... http://tfl.nu/q8a7
  Replies (2) Good night (1083) Bad night (407)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity

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  (203): Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity http://tfl.nu/hqbb
  Replies (0) Good night (256) Bad night (565)

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