Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.

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  (719): Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear. http://tfl.nu/pswl
  Replies (8) Good night (773) Bad night (2854) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  well you can't waste a boner

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  (330): well you can't waste a boner http://tfl.nu/ixi5
  Replies (12) Good night (4787) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?

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  (203): omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it? http://tfl.nu/nfju
  Replies (18) Good night (533) Bad night (3885) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.

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  (724): How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS. http://tfl.nu/1n4d
  Replies (12) Good night (1015) Bad night (3457)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Sharpest. Poop. Ever.

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  (902): Sharpest. Poop. Ever. http://tfl.nu/efzq
  Replies (39) Good night (928) Bad night (7777) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"

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  (330): He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits" http://tfl.nu/f8ma
  Replies (15) Good night (4506) Bad night (1680) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form

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  (301): It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form http://tfl.nu/mrkk
  Replies (6) Good night (4316) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.

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  (918): I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out. http://tfl.nu/s7ox
  Replies (6) Good night (1133) Bad night (2666)
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  (716): View more from New York

  If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.

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  (716): If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex. http://tfl.nu/vi35
  Replies (13) Good night (4172) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.

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  (717): totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet. http://tfl.nu/uf41
  Replies (9) Good night (4905) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.

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  (951): She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer. http://tfl.nu/6dwb
  Replies (11) Good night (1974) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...

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  (707): Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost... http://tfl.nu/dlrx
  Replies (1) Good night (936) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  yeah...that's gonna come up in court

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  (816): yeah...that's gonna come up in court http://tfl.nu/wily
  Replies (3) Good night (799) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  Is this the acid talking?

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  (256): Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive. (1-256): Is this the acid talking? http://tfl.nu/txi2
  Replies (3) Good night (808) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.

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  (215): There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her. http://tfl.nu/lhzd
  Replies (11) Good night (1156) Bad night (322) Order T-Shirt

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