John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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