There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's