Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance

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(248): View more from Michigan

my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'

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(817): View more from Texas

I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.

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(614): View more from Ohio

She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(903): View more from Texas

How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!

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(801): View more from Utah

My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.

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(813): View more from Florida

The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina

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(407): View more from Florida

He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation

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