the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it was like eating out sand paper
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(