So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.