Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um

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  (415): Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um http://tfl.nu/bp62
  Replies (8) Good night (582) Bad night (1542)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?

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  (703): why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall? http://tfl.nu/4ssb
  Replies (14) Good night (2191) Bad night (792)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it

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  (843): just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it http://tfl.nu/dhcg
  Replies (42) Good night (5139) Bad night (1291)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.

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  (304): Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life. http://tfl.nu/t3n8
  Replies (21) Good night (6127) Bad night (1620)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.

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  (360): I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina. http://tfl.nu/jli8
  Replies (55) Good night (1263) Bad night (9855)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".

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  (910): After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could". http://tfl.nu/pxbj
  Replies (22) Good night (8120) Bad night (1858)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either

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  (902): He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either http://tfl.nu/fc5z
  Replies (5) Good night (2852) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.

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  (512): I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me. http://tfl.nu/lmi5
  Replies (5) Good night (1639) Bad night (1256)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday

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  (727): just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday http://tfl.nu/w3i7
  Replies (8) Good night (2167) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.

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  (781): And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today. http://tfl.nu/2n0s
  Replies (21) Good night (2790) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I have a theory he's part Neanderthal

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  (505): I have a theory he's part Neanderthal http://tfl.nu/4i3w
  Replies (11) Good night (734) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.

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  (423): There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears. http://tfl.nu/uyth
  Replies (3) Good night (1161) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?

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  (859): it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone? http://tfl.nu/jw1z
  Replies (7) Good night (799) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.

  (1-530): View more from California

  It's like you're the voice of my soul.

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  (530): I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification. (1-530): It's like you're the voice of my soul. http://tfl.nu/xi0i
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (+58): View more from

  Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.

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  (+58): Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother. http://tfl.nu/wull
  Replies (4) Good night (542) Bad night (275)

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