This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
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It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
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Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore