Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant

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  (301): if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant http://tfl.nu/x9ap
  Replies (5) Good night (1205) Bad night (627)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners

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  (678): Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners http://tfl.nu/cs50
  Replies (32) Good night (4358) Bad night (633)
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  (+44): View more from England

  He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.

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  (+44): He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober. http://tfl.nu/8esm
  Replies (70) Good night (1875) Bad night (7746)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"

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  (603): i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword" http://tfl.nu/1vn8
  Replies (16) Good night (1465) Bad night (5949)
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  (315): View more from New York

  They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.

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  (315): They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it. http://tfl.nu/5i1a
  Replies (12) Good night (8459) Bad night (1281)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....

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  (502): She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage.... http://tfl.nu/ha8c
  Replies (6) Good night (2921) Bad night (1280)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?

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  (317): why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator? http://tfl.nu/5m0o
  Replies (10) Good night (3114) Bad night (1148)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...

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  (215): Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge... http://tfl.nu/fr2q
  Replies (4) Good night (1429) Bad night (627)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."

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  (480): In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.." http://tfl.nu/m3fa
  Replies (6) Good night (2962) Bad night (730)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.

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  (512): Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door. http://tfl.nu/gaii
  Replies (9) Good night (1075) Bad night (533)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.

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  (316): Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say. http://tfl.nu/5ny3
  Replies (10) Good night (973) Bad night (686)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing

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  (425): Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing http://tfl.nu/hqjw
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (354)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.

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  (330): I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun. http://tfl.nu/77j1
  Replies (2) Good night (848) Bad night (378)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.

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  (931): Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight. http://tfl.nu/04cx
  Replies (0) Good night (379) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!

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  (253): My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone! http://tfl.nu/hbhd
  Replies (3) Good night (236) Bad night (281)

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