If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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