my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
