this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
