walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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