I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
