using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
