my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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