did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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