At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
