we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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