so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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