I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
