there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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